I may have the language to identify gas-lighting or projection, but if I do not love the narcissist, those defining words are as useless as broken instruments.
I may correctly understand the unfathomable motivations behind a toxic personality, and I may be strong enough to remove myself from one, but if I do not have love, I gain nothing. I may put everything into freeing myself from abuse and accomplish it, but without love, I am still a victim.
Love does not respond to narcissistic abuse, it is a gray rock. It holds no resentment.
Love does not use any of the narcissist’s tactics against her, it is not manipulated, it does not presume to deduce her motives.
It does not vilify the perpetrator but acknowledges her brokenness.
It carries the weight of soul damage, yet it hopes in healing and perseveres in recovery.
Love never fails. Promises made by toxic people fail. Our attempts at redeeming the friendship, fail. Even our opinion of what a healthy relationship looks like will fade.
This is because we only partially know love.
But when we love our tormentor like Christ does, then that fragmented understanding will be made whole.
When I was a victim, my heart victimized itself. My identity was based on the abuser’s definition, I believed her lies: but when I understood I was abused, I put away victim mentality
And even though I am still plagued with distorted thoughts, I am learning to think clearly about myself. I am seeing who I am in Christ. And when I see him face to face, I will be like him.
This helps me abide in healing faith, nourishing hope and regenerating love. But the greatest antidote to my brokenness is love.
1 Corinthians Paraphrase from February 2018Share This: